Oh well, I finally took out some time to blog after I came back from Malaysia. The trip was great, but the people I went with (my maternal cousins) were...well... not. Certain things really got me thinking. Out there, in Kuala Lumpur, we saw an overweight girl wearing a knee - length denim skirt with a skin - tight top. Looking at her, my second cousin S (who's a year older than me) immediately sneered and said, "Look at these fat chicks... wearing just anything!" My other cousin, let's call her C laughed in agreement. I was disgusted. I mean, there is this nice, happy, 'big' girl who is having fun with her friends, who is having fun dressing the way she wants to and there are these losers commenting on her appearance and dressing - what the hell?! Furthermore, the entire trip taught me how judgmental people can be on trivial matters such as appearance. C's son (yeah she has a son and a daughter) T who's 14 never missed an opportunity to say how fat or 'ugly' someone was. And at night, when I asked S and T how they could pass such comments, they immediately responded, "We were just joking. It's not like we're going up to that person and saying stuff. And besides, you called that Genting guy 'ugly' too!" Okay, so there was this creepy asshole who kept on following me in Genting and abused T for no reason. Now, I only call someone ugly when I'm talking about the person's inner beauty. I don't comment on people's looks because frankly, I don't think it's any of my business to see how someone dresses or talks. Looks are not in one's hands - they are something given by god. So why comment in a negative way? I couldn't find anything humorous in T and S's 'jokes'. If laughing at a crooked nose is your idea of humour and fun, then count me out.
I was horrified when A - another second cousin aged 6 - slapped my calves and said how 'fat' and 'big' they were! This kid was sure brought up that way. His mom (who is stick slim), right now pregnant with her second baby did not pose for pictures just because she doesn't like her baby bump sticking out! Uhh...
I chose a sweatshirt they tagged as old fashioned. "Well this could work in your city you know... it's pretty small." I coolly responded, "There are two types of folks in this world - those who follow fashion, and those who create it. I make, you follow. And oh, by the way, those gladiator heels you are scrounging the mall for... They've been nominated among the worst fashion trends of the decade and yeah, my friends already dumped them." Ouch! That bit their tongues! Needless to say, I bought that sweat, wore it and even got some compliments!
Forget about beefy or slim, old fashioned or trendy, they even comment on skin tones. S, T and others have fair skin tones and I basically could be called a 'dusky beauty'. So basically my skin tone was sort of looked down upon in the most subtle ways possible. For example, when we were at the beach, we got tanned. Now, I'm already wheatish cum dusky, so when T and C were whining about 'how they got dark' and pulling up their sleeves to compare their original tones with the tanned skin, I joked, "Well I don't have to worry much - I'm naturally tanned! I love my colour!" They gave me an 'ehh' look. I can imagine what they'd say behind my back. So I'm not fair and nor am I stick slim - so am I supposed to be crying about it? No. I'll never take their opinions seriously because you know what? It really doesn't matter! We all are gorgeous in some or the other way! Some of us have great hair, some have great skin, some have a lovely smile and some eyes seem to trap you in their gaze! We are gorgeous people! And 99% of us are beautiful too! We all - deep down - are good human beings, and just because we don't have the 'perfect' legs, we shouldn't start to think we're 'ugly'. Ugly is a person who is vindictive. I'd rather be a jolly, chunky babe than be a jealous, obsessed slim girl. Just because some loser comes up to you and says your nose is 'ugly' or your smile is 'too toothy' it doesn't mean you're not beautiful. It just means one thing - that person is extremely shallow. I love people who are beautiful because external beauty won't last for long. And I'll tell you something about T's appearance - Covered with blackheads and pimples, his crooked teeth make him ugly because he shows them when he laughs at a 'fat' girl. It's not his appearance, it's his nature that makes him unattractive. Tell me, how can you take the view of such people seriously when they haven't seen their own faces in the mirror? I've been a chunky girl and my slim cousins always made fun of my body (but they meant well - they aren't bad people). This hurt my self esteem bad and it's me who knows how hard I worked to get it back. I exercised, lost 11 lbs and now they're like - wow! Your body is so curvy! We're so jealous!!! Right. I'm dusky, I'm curvy, I don't have a celebrity smile - but that's me! I love me! My confidence makes me who I am! My heart goes out to all those 'fat chicks' on the block who wear what they want to and walk with their head held high. They're beautiful! And so are you! So all those judgmental idiots - shut up! We don't care about what you think of our hair of legs. We don't want to know whether we're hot or not. We haven't asked whether we're trendy or not. We know we're gorgeous. And that's how it rolls. How about you? Do you think you are ugly? Do you think I'm making a big deal out of nothing?
Comments (15)
I agree completely, but I'm sure you're guilty of doing it yourself one time or another.
@savingeagle - hmmm I don't remember... My parents always taught me one thing- looks are something you can't comment on... they are something from the lord... So I don't really recall commenting that way on someone's looks... Hey by the way, what about your eating disorder?
@AasthaKathy - What about the time you called the guy hitting on you ugly? It just always makes me raise an eyebrow when someone writes something preaching such as this. It's a beautful entry, and I like your ideas. But when someone claims to have never judged someone on apperances IN THEIR LIFE.
I just crack a smile...we are all only human. You don't need to lie about yourself to get a point across, I'm sorry but everyone has judged someone on their apperances in one point of their lives, even if it's subconciously.
I'm on a diet, I wouldn't really call it an eating disorder. I don't purge, binge, or starve. It's a calorie diet. Plus, unless it's just friendly curiousity, it seems like your stepping away from the point. My diet has nothing to do with your claim.
You are beautiful.
@savingeagle - sweetheart... now that means you did not read my entry properly... read that part again
I only call someone ugly when I'm talking about the person's inner beauty. I don't comment on people's looks because frankly, I don't think it's any of my business to see how someone dresses or talks.
I called him ugly because he behaved ugly. He abused my cousin for no reason, followed me everywhere, called me with the most disrespectful words I've heard and we were complete strangers! How about that? That's why I called him ugly. I use the words 'beautiful' and 'ugly' only when I'm talking about someone's inner self not his or her external appearance. Got the point?Besides, it was just a friendly inquiry. I knew you were on some kind of diet, just wanted to know more.
@beautyspiration - thank you! So are you!
Your confidence is awe-aspiring. I hope to be able to feel that way some day soon. Awesome post!
@AasthaKathy - Don't call me sweetheart, I don't know you very well, and with your tone it definetly comes off rude to me.
I just don't believe that in your entire life you've never done it. I don't think it's right to judge people on appereances. But you are human, you've made this mistake at least once. Everyone has. It just bugs me when people claim to have never made a mistake that obviously everyone has.
i agree.
except for one thing...
i still love my gladiator and strappy
sandals haha
@savingeagle - well sweetheart is a way of addressing people and if you find it rude, then well apologies. You don't know me well either so you can't label my 'claim' as false. Ever since I was young.... like 5 or 6, I disliked this whole thing. My parents have brought me up very well and none of family members have ever commented that way... not in front of me at least. My values are stronger than you think and from this day, you better correct yourself and not include me in your 'everyone'.
@sixtyciggs - lol
@Tanezia_Delight - thank you!yea i do think the most important thing is you love yourself.
no i dont think im ugly, i think i look decent. i love myself tho i have a lot of insecurities.
@jackie9714_rocks - you are beautiful! Thanks for the comment!
I think that children should be taught to never make a negative remark about someone's appearance for any reason. It shows a lack of manners on the parents' part because that is where the children learn the behavior.
I also think it is wrong to call someone ugly because you do not like their behavior. Say you do not like their behavior. It is a better example for children than using the word "ugly." But this is just my opinion.
@Pensamientos@revelife - I respect your opinion. It's just that the fellow was being so racist and so abusive that I just couldn't hold it. To me the word ugly means vindictive, abusive and hateful.
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