Oh well, I finally took out some time to blog after I came back from Malaysia. The trip was great, but the people I went with (my maternal cousins) were...well... not. Certain things really got me thinking. Out there, in Kuala Lumpur, we saw an overweight girl wearing a knee - length denim skirt with a skin - tight top. Looking at her, my second cousin S (who's a year older than me) immediately sneered and said, "Look at these fat chicks... wearing just anything!" My other cousin, let's call her C laughed in agreement. I was disgusted. I mean, there is this nice, happy, 'big' girl who is having fun with her friends, who is having fun dressing the way she wants to and there are these losers commenting on her appearance and dressing - what the hell?! Furthermore, the entire trip taught me how judgmental people can be on trivial matters such as appearance. C's son (yeah she has a son and a daughter) T who's 14 never missed an opportunity to say how fat or 'ugly' someone was. And at night, when I asked S and T how they could pass such comments, they immediately responded, "We were just joking. It's not like we're going up to that person and saying stuff. And besides, you called that Genting guy 'ugly' too!" Okay, so there was this creepy asshole who kept on following me in Genting and abused T for no reason. Now, I only call someone ugly when I'm talking about the person's inner beauty. I don't comment on people's looks because frankly, I don't think it's any of my business to see how someone dresses or talks. Looks are not in one's hands - they are something given by god. So why comment in a negative way? I couldn't find anything humorous in T and S's 'jokes'. If laughing at a crooked nose is your idea of humour and fun, then count me out.



I was horrified when A - another second cousin aged 6 - slapped my calves and said how 'fat' and 'big' they were! This kid was sure brought up that way. His mom (who is stick slim), right now pregnant with her second baby did not pose for pictures just because she doesn't like her baby bump sticking out! Uhh...
I chose a sweatshirt they tagged as old fashioned. "Well this could work in your city you know... it's pretty small." I coolly responded, "There are two types of folks in this world - those who follow fashion, and those who create it. I make, you follow. And oh, by the way, those gladiator heels you are scrounging the mall for... They've been nominated among the worst fashion trends of the decade and yeah, my friends already dumped them." Ouch! That bit their tongues! Needless to say, I bought that sweat, wore it and even got some compliments!
Forget about beefy or slim, old fashioned or trendy, they even comment on skin tones. S, T and others have fair skin tones and I basically could be called a 'dusky beauty'. So basically my skin tone was sort of looked down upon in the most subtle ways possible. For example, when we were at the beach, we got tanned. Now, I'm already wheatish cum dusky, so when T and C were whining about 'how they got dark' and pulling up their sleeves to compare their original tones with the tanned skin, I joked, "Well I don't have to worry much - I'm naturally tanned! I love my colour!" They gave me an 'ehh' look. I can imagine what they'd say behind my back. So I'm not fair and nor am I stick slim - so am I supposed to be crying about it? No. I'll never take their opinions seriously because you know what? It really doesn't matter! We all are gorgeous in some or the other way! Some of us have great hair, some have great skin, some have a lovely smile and some eyes seem to trap you in their gaze! We are gorgeous people! And 99% of us are beautiful too! We all - deep down - are good human beings, and just because we don't have the 'perfect' legs, we shouldn't start to think we're 'ugly'. Ugly is a person who is vindictive. I'd rather be a jolly, chunky babe than be a jealous, obsessed slim girl. Just because some loser comes up to you and says your nose is 'ugly' or your smile is 'too toothy' it doesn't mean you're not beautiful. It just means one thing - that person is extremely shallow. I love people who are beautiful because external beauty won't last for long. And I'll tell you something about T's appearance - Covered with blackheads and pimples, his crooked teeth make him ugly because he shows them when he laughs at a 'fat' girl. It's not his appearance, it's his nature that makes him unattractive. Tell me, how can you take the view of such people seriously when they haven't seen their own faces in the mirror? I've been a chunky girl and my slim cousins always made fun of my body (but they meant well - they aren't bad people). This hurt my self esteem bad and it's me who knows how hard I worked to get it back. I exercised, lost 11 lbs and now they're like - wow! Your body is so curvy! We're so jealous!!! Right. I'm dusky, I'm curvy, I don't have a celebrity smile - but that's me! I love me! My confidence makes me who I am! My heart goes out to all those 'fat chicks' on the block who wear what they want to and walk with their head held high. They're beautiful! And so are you! So all those judgmental idiots - shut up! We don't care about what you think of our hair of legs. We don't want to know whether we're hot or not. We haven't asked whether we're trendy or not. We know we're gorgeous. And that's how it rolls. How about you? Do you think you are ugly? Do you think I'm making a big deal out of nothing?